2 Timothy 4:3 "For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5 But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry".

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Parody Predicts the Future: The New Emergent Version of Scripture

Back in June of 07, I wrote a parody piece about the Emergent view of scripture. Now, it is my understanding that Doug Pagitt and others are putting together a scripture version that will make the Message look like a scholarly work.

Here is my parody from June 07. Here is hoping truth isn't stranger than fiction:

I think I really enjoy this much better than the NIV or the KJV. This will be a real boon to building the church. People will really feel good. Check out this passage from Luke 3....
Chapter 3
John the Baptist Preaches
1 Now in the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar, when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, and Herod was tetrarch of Galilee, and his brother Philip was tetrarch of the region of Ituraea and Trachonitis, and Lysanias was tetrarch of Abilene, 2 in the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, the word of God came to John, the son of Zacharias, in the wilderness. 3 And he came into all athe district around the Jordan, preaching baptism of water for the cleansing of human shortcomings; 4 as it is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the God-follower,
“The voice of one crying in the wilderness,
‘Make ready the way of the Lord,which no one can really know, so make His paths wide.
5 Every ravine will be filled, And every mountain and hill will be brought low;
The narrow will become wide, And the rough roads smooth catching all who say I believe, 6 And all flesh will see the salvation of God, no one being left out.’ ”
7 So he began saying to the crowds who were going out to be baptized by him, “You sad little puppy dogs, who invited you to come to find purpose in your life?
8 “Therefore bear fruits in keeping with being sorry, lonely, and filling a god-shaped hole and if you want to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham for our father,’ go ahead! 9 “Indeed the hammock is already laid at the roots of the trees; so every tree with shade will make you comfortable, giving you good rest.”
10 And the crowds were questioning him, saying, “Then what shall we do to have purpose, meaning, love, peace, and happiness, and our best life now?”
11 And he would answer and say to them, “The man who has two tunics is to donate one to who has none; and he who has food is to do likewise, for God will reward you for doing nice things, and you will feel better.” 12 And some tax collectors also came to be baptized, and they said to him, “Teacher, how can we have our best life now?” 13 And he said to them, “Collect no more than what you have been ordered to.”
14 Some soldiers were questioning him, saying, “And what about us, what is our purpose?” And he said to them, “Do not be soldiers, because killing is not very loving and kind. Don't be content with your wages, sow a seed so god can multiply your wages.” 15 Now while the people were in a state of expectation about their purpose and best life now, feeling comfortable in John's preaching, having their ears tickeled, all were wondering in their hearts about John, as to whether he was the Christ, 16 John answered and said to them all, “As for me, I am just giving you a bath with water; but One is coming who is mightier than I, and I am fit to untie the thong of His sandals; He will come into your heart to give you a more satisfying life. After all, we can't really know him, or trust the scriptures, because we can never really understand the word that god had spoken previously. 17 But I think it might be like this: “His winnowing fork is in His hand to thoroughly clear His threshing floor, and to gather anyone who asks into His barn; but He will help those who do not want to seek with encouraging helpful words.” 18 So with many other exhortations he shared encouraging, helpful words with the people. 19 But when Herod the tetrarch was spoken to him because of Herodias, his brother’s wife, and because of all the things which Herod had done,that would keep him from having a satisfying and peaceful life 20 Herod also added this to them all: he was very intolerant and locked John up in prison.


Neight83 said...

So are you part of the 1611 crowd?

Pastorboy said...

no, I am part of the historical/cultural/literal translation of scripture crowd!

I actually prefer the ESV, though for consistency in teaching I use the KJV and the ASV-95 versions.

Neight83 said...

I like the ESV a lot. I definitely wouldn't use the Message for any of the finer theological points. I use it as a cross reference, sometimes in narrative stories. Although I find it best when dealing with finer points to use at least four to five english translations.

So if I might ask, because I really am trying to understand. Trust me I'm not wanting to stir up trouble on your blog. What are the major problems you see arising in the Emerging Church? I'm not here to defend either side, I just want to have a better understanding of things.

Oh and if you don't mind me asking. Where do you do you Pastorial work? If you mentioned it on you blog I'm sorry I haven't had time to read through all of it.

Pastorboy said...

I am a pastor at River of Life Alliance Church in Minnesota.

The major problem that I have with the emergent church is the way that they play fast and loose with the scripture. Everything is a conversation rather than a settled point. Many of them believe that Jesus Christ is not the only way to heaven, that there is salvic truth in other faiths, and that at judgement day, God will allow all people regardless of belief into heaven.

Some ways that they play fast and loose with scripture is the issue of homosexuality, women's roles in the church, and (this is major) the major biblical doctrines such as salvation through faith alone in Christ alone, justification by faith, and the meaning of the atonement (universal vs limited)

This is just a very brief overview. I am friends with many emergents, though I disagree with them.

Neight83 said...

Do you happen to have any resources concerning this issues you've mentioned, written by both sides of the arguments if possible that you might recommend. Like I said I'm here to learn. I'm seeking truth, which I believe that all real truth will ultimately point to Christ.

So what's your take on the ancient rift between Judaism and Christianity?

Pastorboy said...

What rift are you refering to? I love my Jewish friends, and I hope that they will realize Christ is the promised Messiah before it is too late!!

Neight83 said...

Not the rift between individuals, but the historical rift between the two faiths that is clearly noted throughout history. The rift that has had a major affect on the western Church. To the point that most people don't even realize that Jesus was Jewish, not to mention that He was a Rabbi recognized as such by the religious leaders of his time.